Honoring Family That Have Passed Away - Weddings - Eventective - Forums

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Guest June 7, 2011
Hi I'm looking for unique ideas to honor my father at my wedding. He recently passed away and I getting married in September. Does anyone have any unique ideas on how I might do this at my wedding ceremony.

Guest June 4, 2012
Look for Carleen ~ With This Ring Wedding Ceremonies on Pinterest, and you can find an example of it on my board "Wedding Accessories".

Guest June 4, 2012
As an officiant who lost her dad just two years prior to getting married, it was very important for me to find ways to honor a couple's memorial wishes. I have a few ways that I offer to couples wanting to do this.

I say something in the part after acknowledging and thanking the guests for being there about this person. I keep it upbeat, however, as this is your wedding and not the deceased's funeral.

I also offer a few memorial vases and/or a photo buckle that goes around the base of your bouquet. Many brides have purchased the photo buckle.

Guest June 2, 2012
Hey these ideas are very good. But, I am not so sure about the "life size standee".
Posts: 2 June 30, 2011
Have you thought about a life sized standee? I seriously considered it for mine...
Posts: 1 June 27, 2011
Excellent ideas! I would add, walk down the aisle to his favourite song.
Posts: 28 June 25, 2011
There have been a lot of good suggestions mentioned on this post, the first guest in particular grabbed our attention. But we have been offering a service in the Chicagoland area for the last few years that has been seen by our customers, their family, and friends as a truly unique way of honoring loved ones.

Video Memorials have been growing in popularity over the last few years as not only a way to honor a loved one but also to experience their life and its impact on family and friends over the years. Now this suggestion in no way means that you can't incorporate some of the other ideas mentioned in this post prior to ours, but most of those ideas focused on honoring your father as part of the wedding service. This suggestion is for something that can be done during the reception portion of the wedding day (perhaps before or after the formal toast).

* Please note that the following suggestion has many design variables and what follows is only one of the many design layouts possible for Video Memorials.

First, select one piece of music that in some way either reminds you of your dad or reflects either through its lyrics and/or music your dad's life experiences.

Next, select photos (30 - 40) enough for the length of the song. We generally recommend that each photo is displayed 6 - 8 seconds (depending on the pace and the length of the desired musical selection).

The selected photos can reflect his life (going back as far as possible) with an emphasis on photos with you and him together over time. You can even incorporate in varies places during the presentation short pieces of personal family video footage.

A Video Memorial will honor your father and his memory in a very dramatic and lasting way. Because after the wedding you will always have the memorial DVD, and some day your children and later grandchildren will be able to better appreciate this link in the chain of the legacy of your family.

In your area we are sure that you can find a video production company that can help you not only put the presentation together, but they should also be able to assist with the presentation of the Video Memorial during the reception.

In closing, for the many families that we have provided this type of service for over the years there have been many expressions of gratitude for our efforts, but when we started this service we were surprised at just how many families would tell us that the acts of gathering the photos, choosing video segments, and other related items helped them through the grieving process.

If there are questions that you may have on how to get this done in your area please feel free to visit our web site at www.kmcvideoproductions.com to contact us and we will be happy to answer any questions that you might have.

We hope that not only your wedding plans but also your plans to honor your father's memory are fully realized.

KMc Video Productions
Posts: 22 June 15, 2011
The one thing that brides inquire about are memorial candles or how can they incorporate and honor their loved one that is no longer with them into the ceremony.

Here are a few things I suggest.

1. A picture frame of their loved one and a small note with a heart felt message.

2. Take something of theirs that meant something to them (a painting, a jewelry box, a quilt) and display it.

3. Wear something that belonged to them. The bride to be may wear a necklace, bracelet, ring, or broche, while the groom may wear a tie, cufflinks, a ring, handkerchief, etc)

4. You can also take a small picture 3x3 or smaller and insert it in the groom’s suit pocket while the bride can carry a picture on her bouquet and/or bridesmaids bouquets.

5. A memorial candle is also an option. You can personalize it with the person’s name and add a message. Have the officiant say something about your loved one and light the candle during your ceremony. (If it is a parent you are honoring, you should light it together with your husband to be and living parent).

Posts: 82 June 7, 2011
LOVE the hooting and hollering as a way to honor those who would have appreciated the gesture!

Just Sunday I was asked to mention several family members in a ceremony I was performing. The language I used was, "I've been asked to bring to mind NAME, uncle of the bride, and NAME, who could not travel to be with us today, and to remember NAME, groom's grandfather, who has passed on to his eternal life. We know that all are with us now in spirit and in the hearts of all those who love them."

I also know of a situation where the bride's best friend died a few weeks before the wedding. The bride placed a bouquet of flowers in the space where her friend would have been standing as her maid of honor.

It's whatever feels right for your own situation that works best.

Guest June 7, 2011
As an officiant, I like to do a moment of silence for all those "who could not be with us today, but who are in our hearts." That encompasses the ill, the departed, and those who simply could not come. It is good to have a photo of the deceased person, and to light a candle. I've had brides walked down the aisle with their mom, then give the mom a rose and light a candle in honor of her dad. Once, both bride and groom had recently lost their fathers, only they were both jolly, loud men, so instead of a moment of silence, we hooted and hollered in honor of the deceased. Blessings on all who have loved and lost,
Rev. Pamela Camille
Lake Tahoe, CA and NV
Posts: 157 June 7, 2011
Guest and JoyfulPromises have already covered everything I would have suggested. My condolences to you and your family.

Best Regards,
Rev. Ann Fuller
Melbourne, FL
Posts: 82 June 7, 2011
In addition to the suggestions already offered above, a photo can be incorporated as well. If you choose to have a Remembrance Candle to honor them, you could place a picture of them next to the candle. Or place a small table near the altar (or near wherever you'll be standing for your ceremony) with a candle and/or flower and their photos. You could also do this at the table where the family will be sitting at your reception.

It's lovely to honor those who can't join you for your big day, whether through illness, inability to travel, or death. Discuss your thoughts with your officiant -- I'm sure s/he will help you decide what will work best for your ceremony.

Marti Barton, Officiant
Joyful Promises
Posts: 6 June 7, 2011
As a licensed wedding officiant, I usually ask the couple whom I am marrying if they would like me to mention "Words of Remembrance" included in their marriage vows. Usually the couple has someone who has passed on and I include them in the vows. All of the couples whom I have married like this idea!

Vera Oglan

Guest June 7, 2011
What about haven a picture? I say this because my close cousin an aunt passed away and they both were surpose to be in my wedding when ever I do get married and I really wont something in my wedding that will honor both of them

Guest June 7, 2011
It's hard to lose a parent -- and when you're about to get married, their absence can seem even more noticeable, since you've always pictured them as an integral part of your day. There are plenty of wonderful and appropriate ways to honor a deceased parent. The one thing you don't want to do is mention your dad on the invitation, with the word "late" -- the parents listed on the invite are the wedding hosts, and including your dad would be awkward and may strike guests as sad. But on your wedding day, mentioning and honoring your dad will be touching, and it's an important part of the day for you. Here are some options -- you might choose one, or several meaningful ones.
•In your program, write a tribute to your dad, an anecdote about him, a favorite poem, or anything about or for him.

•Include a moment of silence in the ceremony to honor him or have a candle lit in his memory.

•Ask your officiant to mention him during the ceremony.

•Lay a flower from your bouquet on an empty seat in the front pew next to your mom.

•Have someone read his favorite passage of Scripture, fiction, or poetry.

•Read a letter he sent to you as a child.

•Carry or wear a memento from him (jewelry he gave you, his handkerchief, etc.).

•Select his favorite song to be sung at the ceremony or played at the reception.

•Talk about and toast him at the reception.

•Visit his grave after the ceremony and leave your bouquet there.

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