June 19, 2010
Your brother sounds like a bit of a jerk, but might be of some real value as a photographer "in the background."
As a trained, semi-professional photographer (in a very different industry), I've often shot weddings of friends and family -- as an "amateur in the background" -- only to find later that the family (bride especially) was overjoyed that i did, because the "real" professional had botched the job, or simply missed something really important or desirable.
Can't count the number of bride's photo albums that i've been shown which feature many of my photos, even sometimes MOSTLY my photos.
That's not unique to me, either. I've seen other albums that have had to rely heavily on various photos by friends and family, because -- again -- the "professional" wasn't all that professional, or he dropped his one-and-only good camera, or he didn't show because of a last-minute catastrophe, or simple scheduling mix-up, etc., etc. NEVER trust your irreplaceable life-moments to JUST ONE photographer -- EVER! If the "pro" fumbles the job (which happens with astonishing regularity in the real world), there's NO "do-over"! I've known some terribly heartbroken brides who have had these fiascoes happen.
HOWEVER, don't discount the importance of having a REAL pro do things. They USUALLY turn out much better work than the amateurs. But they are NEVER a certain success.
Besides, there's often so much stuff going on at such an event, simultaneously, that it can all be captured only if multiple photographers/videographers are at work. Some of the GREATEST shots at a wedding are unexpected moments, that happen while the pro is focused on something expected and obligatory.
If you think you're old enough to get married, then just GROW UP, and be ABSOLUTELY clear, and HARD AS A ROCK, with your amateur brother, that you ARE an adult, making your OWN decisions about YOUR wedding. And get in his face and tell him that it is not now, nor ever was, his place to "decide" anything about ANYone else's wedding. Tell him he will only be allowed to shoot if he stays the H3LL out of the way of the pro, and agrees to respect and accept all your decisions about video/photos. Otherwise, he can only come to the wedding empty-handed.
Tell him he can make the decisions for his OWN cussed wedding. THIS one is YOURS!
By the way, your fiance' should grow a pair, and stand beside you, firmly, on this one, in your brother's face. Unless he's too immature to get married, himself. Also consider marshalling direct, side-by-side backing from his friends, parents, or anyone he respects, and have them deliver the same orders to him.
But it's still YOUR brother, YOUR problem. Grow up, take control, set the rules, and be ready for whatever action is necessary when your overbearing brother breaks them (he probably will try).
I've had to break a guy's camera once. That works. So does pulling off the battery and throwing it on the roof, or dropping the camera in the nearest large supply of liquid (pool, punchbowl, or toilet). Tell him you're done performing for him, and he can join the wedding as a FAMILY member, not support worker.
By the way, I've been kept busy at some formal events by being assigned as usher, doorman, entertainer, DJ, waiter/host, or other functionary, dressed in a tux -- keeping me from running around with MY nuisance camera. (Might work with YOUR nuisance brother.)