Apparently someone, somewhere came up with an idea that their wedding cash should be used to foot the honeymoon bill. And I'm thinking they also thought it was such a great idea tthat they would just let guests 'sign up' to foot the bill. To this I say...'you've got to be kidding!' I'm here to tell you, Not only is it a BAD idea....it's downright tacky!
Back in the old days, a girl came into a marriage with a 'dowry', which was pretty much everything she needed to start her new life as a 'Mrs.' Since then, a 'shower' has been the norm, and guests are expected to 'shower' the bridal couple with new gifts to start their new life. Not a honeymoon!
In fact, no one owes the bride and groom a trip after their wedding ceremony! And in fact, everything AFTER the ceremony is now officially the newlyweds responsibility...not the parents or guests.
So, if you are considering a honeymoon registry, I urge you to re-think that possibility!
Otherwise, don't be surprised if you don't receive anything, or very little towards your idea. Most people in the wedding industry, don't like the idea at all!
Like most things in life, I think this is a "know your audience" type of thing. In many cases it might be tacky. In some it might be a lovely gesture. I married a couple last month whose parents solicited honeymoon contributions behind their back so they could be surprised with a vacation they couldn't have afforded on their own. The couple had been deployed off and on for the last three years and one was set to return to Afghanistan in a month. I was their officiant and I chipped in!
Oh, and a dowry? That was a gift to the husband (and his family). "Back in the old days" women were property to be bought and sold. Times have changed.
I wouldn't consider a honeymoon registry for myself, but if another couple had that as their priority, that is their business.
No one owes the bride and groom anything, but some of us give them our presence, gifts, cash or honeymoon assistance because we love them and want to. Not because we feel coerced.
Rev. Ann Fuller
November 4, 2010
Tacky, considerate or financial assistance, however you look at it, in events consisting of 40 to 200 guests, someone is bound to dislike the idea while others choose embrace it. I agree with BrevardMinister; its a question of knowing your audience or guests.
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If a 'gift' of a trip or honeymoon for the bridal couple is PLANNED and given by a group such as the parents and their guests, that is entirely different, and certainly acceptable. Unfortunately, it IS tacky for a bride and groom to 'ask' for money for themselves, in order to foot their honeymoon bill...as I said before, no one HAS to have a honeymoon....it's not a requirement of marriage.
Understandably, circumstances such as the one the Reverend mentioned regarding the groom's deployment, is a unique situation - one that was happily resolved with the group gift of a honeymoon trip. I would donate to that, myself.
However, generational differences or not, it is in poor taste to 'stick a hand out' in expectation of money for a trip. It's just another example of how the 'Me' Generation thinks. If a couple receives cash as a wedding gift (which most of them do), they can apply it to their honeymoon, but to 'register' for trip donations is not only presumptuous, it's just downright tasteless, no matter who you are. There are plenty of creative options for a 'honeymoon', even for kids without a bank account....it's just not going to be the same as what they are use to witnessing on the reality shows.
Sorry, with all respect, I stand firm on it.
December 1, 2010
im not lsure i see the difference between registering for a honeymoon and regisitering at target. some people like to know the couple can use the item they purchase. If you dont like it then get them something else.It is not a requirement it is a suggestion.