Both my Fiance, and I are Atheist, However- we would still like to have a traditional wedding ceremony. The problem is that church and weddings are often tied together. I'm wondering, is there a way we can do a Traditional wedding? The desired date for our wedding falls on a Sunday. The court house will be closed so we may not be able to find a Justice of the Peace to come Help us. What should we do?
December 9, 2010
A celebrant is what you are looking for. And there are plenty of really good ones out there. Many I have seen can make a really personalized ceremony. Not sure but there are probably some resourse guides out there if you look.
It looks as if this discussion has aged several months, but just for the record: I am a North Central Florida Notary Public. Our commission permits us to officiate weddings. An important part of the ceremony is the recording of the wedding certificate with the State. The official recognition by the State is an important factor for many legal reasons, not the least of which is identifying the progeny of that union. The other important factor is to provide the best experience possible for a couple who wishes to commit to a lasting, productive relationship before their loved ones and the community, and to dedicate themselves to each other in a special way.
FYI: In other parts of the globe, some parts insist that a civil ceremony be performed prior to a church wedding, or in others, the civil ceremony must be completed whether a church ceremony is engaged or not.
My general attitude is pretty much that of the Brevard County Minister of a Unitarian Fellowship, though I do not know her. We are separated by many miles, completely out of each other's territory.
Good luck on locating the person who fits your needs for this purpose, whatever your faith or non-faith may be. I'm a 59-yr. veteran of marriage.
My husband and I had some of the same issues, but we resolved it by actually getting married in a court house before our actual wedding ceremony. My uncle was able to lead the ceremony because we were already legal. We didn't get married beforehand for that particular reason, but it did work out in that respect. Also, we pretty much wrote how the ceremony would go by googling ideas and talking to people. We did not have it in church, but outside beside a peaceful pond at a BEAUTIFUL state park. The ceremony was PERFECT. And truthfully, it took SO much stress off to get legally married beforehand. I know many people oppose that but it worked wonderfully for us. Our family were all still able to come to the wedding and help us celebrate our union. It remained special and we even get to celebrate 2 "anniversaries" if we so choose! Or, whichever one is most convenient for us to celebrate!! Good luck with everything! There is no reason your day should be any less special because you are an Athiest!
For go any type of ceremony and go straight to the reception. A wedding is a ceremonial union initiated by God, what you need is a wedding license and a Justice of the Peace that will proclaim you husband and wife. That's it. Since you don't believe in God, there is no blessing for you, just continue to believe in whatever and don't bother.
you can always use a notary to perform the ceremony.
September 21, 2010
Love conquers all, That is the most important thing here, It is not always about religion, I hate to say that, Many great wishes you both, YOu have the love,freindship, So you will be just fine. Many great things to you both.
Also, please don't let the close-minded people on here that posted to ruin your special day. Have your wedding the way you want it. Unfortunatly, there will always be people that don't agree with your way of life and sometimes they will actually open their wide traps and try to persuade you otherwise.
People, please be respectful of other peoples' beliefs. It's not for you to say what is and/or isn't. You believe what you believe and you don't hear other people criticizing you about it....unless of course people from other religions...but that's a whole other subject.
I am an atheist ordained minister and I respect the beliefs of every man, woman, and child. You should do the same and stop trying to throw your beliefs at other people. You weren't there when religious events happen..you simply believe they did.
I wish you all well.
Many officiants provide non-religious weddings, similar to a Justice of the Peace or a "civil" wedding, but these days, they often add cultural elements, and personal vows, and they encourage family members to add ceremony elements from their own traditions, so you can have both an atheist and a spiritual wedding. (I recently performed a Hindu/Atheist wedding with prayers from an Anglican/Zoroastrian priest - so lots for everyone!) A "Traditional' wedding usually means the standard ceremony order -welcome, readings, candles, vows, rings, blessings, etc. - but these elements do not have to be religious, or they can be a mix of spiritual and civil. Contact the national Humanist or Unitarian associations in your country for listings of non-religious official clergy in your area, or search for Non-religious officiants, 'civil' officiants, etc. Just find someone you are comfortable with who is legally certified. If you decide on a non-religious ceremony, you can discuss adding elements from a cultural or religious tradition. You can also do like Prince Charles - have a civil ceremony, and then have a separate wedding blessing, to separate the two events. (Rather like some asian brides have a Tea Ceremony - the real 'wedding', then a western Civil or Religious ceremony, then sometimes even a buddhist or religious blessing). More parties! More dresses! Enjoy.
Because my husband and I come from very different religious backgrounds, we asked a friend of ours to become ordained in order to marry us. We help to construct the vows in order to meet the needs of all parties without making any family members angry... you could do something similar by removing the religious aspects and only focusing on the commitment ceremony. It was our friend's wedding gift to us and it was wonderful to have such a dear friend perform the ceremony.
My fiance is (non-practicing) mormon and I am atheist, it's a very interesting mix but we are having a traditional wedding with biblical verses read and selected by his family, but the wedding will be outdoor instead of in a church. I come from a mainly Atheist family, and we are all accepting of eachother's view points on religion. It is important to be open minded, we love each other very much even though we have very different view points on religion.
Your disrespect aside, I am indeed properly trained and congregationally ordained clergy. I stand by my response to you. You said the wedding service came from the Bible. It does not. There is no wedding liturgy contained within any book of the Bible. In point of fact, the two most popular New Testament scripture passages used in wedding ceremonies today (I Corinthians 13:4-8 and Colossians 3:12-14) are taken out of context and have nothing to do with either weddings or marriage.
You are conflating weddings and marriage in your responses. Jews and Christians do believe marriage is instituted by God based upon scripture, but that does not mean the wedding ceremony is Biblically based. Nor does it mean canonical law has always recognized marriage as a sacrament. You may know quotes from the Bible, but you do not appear to know church history or the history of marriage.
You are projecting your own beliefs onto others. That is narrow minded and insensitive. Not everyone believes in God the same way you do or even at all. People who do not believe marriage is instituted by God can and do have loving, compassionate and respectful marriages.
If your religious beliefs are important to your view of marriage you absolutely should honor that in the context of your wedding ceremony. You overstep your bounds however, when you presume your beliefs should dictate to everyone else. Civil/secular wedding ceremonies are every bit as traditional, meaningful and legal as Christian wedding ceremonies.
Rev. Ann Fuller
August 9, 2010
Reverand?? Fuller, Rather than check history books, perhaps you should look at your Bible. God designed and ordained the institution of marriage in Genesis. Genesis 2, specifically 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his WIFE, and they shall become one flesh." This was clearly before the Roman Catholic church or before organized religion. It is a Creation Ordinance, not a Covenant/Salvation ordinance (like baptism) which is why marriage is not limited to couples of faith. But the perimeters for marriage ARE male and female (so that they can actually become one flesh and multiply, which is the command for marriage).
THIS IS the traditional wedding service: leaving your father and mother, holding fast to your spouse, and becoming one flesh.
Again, because this is a CREATION ordinance, we should allow all male/female couples who wish to be united in this manner, to do so regardless of faith.
lol this is funny! pray! vegas! pray for vegas!
Why do you want a traditional ceremony if you are athiest? No matter how hard you try, you cannot separate marriage from God. It is a covenant ordained by God. The state has turned it into a legal issue. That is not the way it was intended to be. What unanswered questions do you have that keep you from believing that there is a God?
i live in texas there is a guy who did my wedding he let us decide what was in the ceremony and it turned out great,my wife and i are of two different religious beliefs and we were both happy because he found a way to put them both together....his e mail is email@example.com
i lost his number but i think that the above is his e mail.
my husband an I used an officiant, we found her online, and was GREAT!!! created a custom ceremony for us through email and we approved it and it was amazing. we dont do the religion thing either
You could have the wedding outside in a pretty place and get married by a legal person if you don't want anything to do with the church. If you don't mind being religiously married, you could probably just get married in a church.
I tend to agree with the last comment, but I do understand where you're coming from. You can search online and find some really nice wedding vows and phrases for your ceremony that are more about love and commitment without the religious aspects. My fiance and I are non-practicing in our faiths and we're doing something similar, but we're doing a beach theme wedding outside. We didn't want the church-type wedding because of the religious aspects. A lot of states allow notaries to perform wedding ceremonies. That might be a more practical option for you or someone who is just "spiritual" as opposed to being affiliated with a particular faith. If I were you, I'd focus on each other. Think of a public place that has meaning for the both of you, like a park, garden, beach or whatever. Perhaps that would be a good place to hold your ceremony instead of a church. Either way, good luck in your search. I hope you found this advice useful.
The "traditional" wedding service COMES FROM THE BIBLE!! If you don't believe why use it as the basis for the rest of your lives together? How can it truly mean anything for you?
You can also go to your local courthouse and inquire if any of your judges will marry you off-site. They can do that on their own time if they wish.
i'm an athiest and he's a christian i dont mind if he wants it to be christian my problem is finding someone who will come out to the middle of the country the closest officients listed were more than an hour away.
Absolutely; I do them everyday, including Sunday. I would recomment checking out www.celebrantusa.org. That is where I trained, and we have great officiants all over the country.
As a wedding photographer here in Oklahoma I have seen a lot of different types of weddings. You can have a "handfasting" with its own traditional ceremony. You can also have the vows talks of dedication to each other and mutual goals and becoming one together. Maybe a unity candle or sand ceremony (especially if you have children).
Get someone you know well to get ordained as a minister online. they can legally officiate your wedding and then you will not have all the awkwardness of a priest, rabbi or the such. My best friend had the same problem and this seemed to be a simple solution. best of luck!
would love to know about this kind of wedding. we r having the same prob. the ceremony should b like a one in a church but i want more bout me an shawn. it is our day.
You can have a traditional wedding in Oklahoma that will be meaningful without any religion. My niece was atheist and I got registered in Oklahoma to perform her wedding 7 years ago. I'm still available to do weddings in Oklahoma, Missouri and Kansas. There are many traditional elements you can weave together in a ceremony that aren't religious. In fact some people don't even notice that it's not a religious wedding. Remember that it's your day and at the end of the ceremony it's about your commitment to each other, the word and elements that are performed will be meaningful and are what's going to make your ceremony rememberable.
Thank you so much for that link! it really helped!
Even in Oklahoma! Yep, there are conservative ministers, however, it is possible to find ministers and "officiants" who can legally officiate your ceremony - and yes, they can certainly have it on Sunday and it can be a Traditional wedding! What part of Oklahoma are you in? Can you email me offline? - firstname.lastname@example.org