How do I suggest a prenuptial agreement to my fiancee? Messages in this topic - RSS

How do I suggest a prenuptial agreement to my fiancee? Messages in this topic - RSS

charlesccharlescPosts: 2 March 16, 2010
Everyone I talk to says I should make sure I have a prenuptial agreement before we get married. I don't have much to lose if we divorce, so I'm not sure why everyone says I need one. Why do I need one? How do I suggest it to my fiancee?
Guest March 16, 2010
A pre-nup isn't for what you have now, it's designed for what you have in the future. If one of you gets a lot of money, a pre-nup would define what would happen in the case of a divorce with that money.

I don't have one. I'm committed to my wife, and she's committed to me. For life. Call me old-fashioned and naive, but I meant what I said in my vows.
charlesccharlescPosts: 2 March 17, 2010
That's what I'm worried about. If I bring it up, she will think I'm planning to get a divorce.
Guest March 17, 2010
Has anyone else gone through this? How did you explain it to them? What were your reasons for getting the prenup?
info157979info157979Posts: 26 April 10, 2010
Very delicately;-)
Guest April 11, 2010
I think that the bigger question is, why are you listening to "everyone", if you aren't even sure about it?
Guest April 11, 2010
I think that the bigger question is, why are you listening to "everyone", if you aren't even sure about it?
sbarn443751sbarn443751Posts: 190 June 19, 2010
Pre-nups most of the time do not hold up in court! If your asking for a pre-nup, you are basically asking for a divorce before you even say I DO. If you are already doubting your lives together, DON'T TAKE THE PLUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guest June 19, 2010
Don't ask for a prenump!! and If you do, liquor her up first and tell her it's the Marriage license. And the post above is right If your doubting the marriage now DON'T DO IT.
QuinnPhotoTampaQuinnPhotoTampaPosts: 8 July 22, 2010
You know when I had a pre-nup I got the same retort that I was planning for a divorce before the wedding. I suppose that is one way to look at it. And another way to look at it is if you have pre-marital assets you want to keep in the instance of a divorce get a pre-nup.

Assets you obtain during the marriage are split 50/50 (depending on the state and length of the marriage).

You say you don't really have anything. If that is so you can probably forgo the pre-nup. But if you have a house in your name only as I did you may want to protect that.

As far as "breaking the news" you know your soon to be spouse. Bring it up in a way that will keep them open minded. I am sure many arguments have come from the subject but if you are meant to be together you can work it out. Good Luck.
MrMusicMrMusicPosts: 10 July 24, 2010
Whenever I have heard of this sort of thing, it is given form one to the other as a requirement (not a suggestion) for marriage. More or less like, without the pre-nup, I can't marry you.

If you go there, you'll have to do your research and make sure you have solid reasons for asking. Say exactly what you are trying to protect. Like it or not, a certain amount of marriages in America do not work out and end up in divorce. People genuinely in love find that they can't live with each other. If you want to protect for a possible future maybe a pre-nup is what you need.

I wish people would take their wedding vows seriously "until death do us part" which would result in way less divorce but that's not a reality today.
BrevardMinisterBrevardMinisterPosts: 157 July 25, 2010
The first question you need to ask is not directed to your fiancee, but to yourself. "Do I want/need a prenuptial agreement?" If the answer is no, than ignore everyone else. If the answer is yes than you need to ask yourself, "Why do I want/need a prenuptial agreement?" Are there doubts about your relationship? Are you concerned that you are not able to make a commitment that is by definition intended to be lifelong? If that is the case, you may want to examine your reasons for getting married in the first place. I recommend a marital preparation class or meetings with clergy/counselor to explore your own unique situation. Only then can you and your fiancee make a mutual decision regarding a prenup. And this is a very key point. When we get married we are entering into a relationship where any decision we make has consequences for both parties. Therefore decision making should be a joint activity, not one making demands upon the other.

Best Wishes,
Rev. Ann Fuller
Melbourne, FL

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