40th Birthday Party etiquette help please Messages in this topic - RSS

40th Birthday Party etiquette help please Messages in this topic - RSS


Guest Arkansas April 6, 2014
I am in the process of planning my 40th birthday party and I have several questions. My 40th birthday is in December. I was trying to have my party December 13th but I discovered that I'm graduating from college with another degree that day. So my first question is do you think December 20th is too close to Christmas to have a birthday party? My next question is if I decide to have this party at a restaurant is it acceptable to ask quests to pay for there food? I'm a single woman who has never been married or had children so I need to know about costs and how to get the best party for my small budget. The party will likely be in the evening around 6:00 or 6:30p.m. And my thought is that dinner should be served, but would heavy hors d'oeuvres be appropriate?

Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
DrRonShapiro
DrRonShapiro
Posts: 354 April 8, 2014
Hi Guest from Arkansas:

A few thoughts:
  • Why not have a combined graduation/40th birthday party the evening of the 13th.
  • I think that your idea of having "heavy hors d'oeuvres" is an excellent one. That way the guests will spend time interacting with many other guests, rather than with just the few people sitting near them at a dining table.
  • While I'm not sure of the customs in your community or amongst your family and friends, I would be surprised if someone were to invite me to their birthday celebration and ask me to pay my own way. (On the other hand, I would expect to pay my way plus a portion of the honoree's bill if a group of friends decided to take someone to dinner on their birthday. If I were organizing a birthday celebration for a friend I would either contact other friends and say "lets take the honoree out for their birthday and would discuss costs up front -- in which case I would expect the bill to be divided -- or separate checks amongst the organizers, with the honoree's bill being split up amongst the organizers or i would say Im' hosting a birthday party for ... in which case I would pay the entire bill (except for possible cash bar).) If you look around on the internet you'll find other people have different opinions here.
  • If you do opt for dinner at a restaurant and need to conserve money, I would suggest asking restaurants what discount they could offer you if you had your event on their least busy evenings (Monday or Tuesday, likely) rather than their busiest evenings (Friday, Saturday or Sunday).
  • If you do opt for dinner and ask guests to pay, please be sure to make this very clear in your invitations.
  • I would need to know more about what you and your friends are like and like to do before considering suggesting activities (if any) for your celebration.
Hope this helps.

Ron
Dr. Ronald G. Shapiro
Education By Entertainment
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tanisha40
tanisha40
Posts: 1 Conway, AR April 18, 2014
The graduation site is several hours away from the city where I live and also where my family lives so I'm thinking it may be hard to get back to where I live for a party. Besides being several hours away, the graduation will not begin until 4:30 p.m. And I'm not sure how long it will last or I think Deccember 13 would be a great day.

I have been looking for party venues in the area of Little Rock, Arkansas. Venue prices have been $1000.00 and up. My mom thinks that's too expensive but I'm willing to pay it! I want it to be a nice and memorable event for me, my family, and my friends.

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