Is a pot luck a good idea???? Messages in this topic - RSS

Is a pot luck a good idea???? Messages in this topic - RSS

amynjasonamynjasonPosts: 5 October 16, 2010
My mom said this was a great way to save money, but I dont think its right to ask our guest to bring food. Anybody agree with my mom? This is my first time for this and Im trying to plan our wedding with a little help from my about to be sister in law and she also thinks this might be a bad idea.
Guest October 16, 2010
Frankly, I think it is a terrible idea...when you invite guests to your wedding you are hosting it. It is acceptable to have a cash bar, but it is rather tacky asking people to pay for or bring food. I hope that helps!
amynjasonamynjasonPosts: 5 October 16, 2010
My grandma also put her input in of "this is what they use to do back in the day" True???? The 130 people are mainly his family(huge on his side) small on mine, and just a few family friends.
Guest October 16, 2010
No, it's a terrible idea. You are hosting a party; find a simple, affordable venue or caterer; offer wine and beer, and have a great time. But don't ask them to bring food.
BrevardMinisterBrevardMinisterPosts: 157 October 16, 2010
amynjason wrote:
My mom said this was a great way to save money, but I dont think its right to ask our guest to bring food. Anybody agree with my mom? This is my first time for this and Im trying to plan our wedding with a little help from my about to be sister in law and she also thinks this might be a bad idea.


It's definitely a great way to save money, but this is a case of "know your audience." I have been to pot luck weddings that were quite tasteful and fabulously fun. But, they were much smaller and the guest list was essentially family, including extended family.

I'd like to see the rule that says we have to provide wedding guests with a full meal and an open bar. "Back in the day" for me was punch, wedding cake and a few nibbles like cheese and crackers and crudite / fruit platters. There is absolutely no etiquette standard dictating a plated meal and an open bar for wedding guests. I am not a teetotaler (actually posting with a glass of chardonnay in one hand), but find the equation of party=alcohol absurd. Not serving alcohol or only serving beer/wine is one way to save money.

Have you decided on the time of day for your wedding? 9:00 / 9:30 / 10:00 AM and 1:00 / 1:30 / 2:00 / 2:30 PM weddings are great for receptions that don't fall during a mealtime. I have officiated an 8:30 PM wedding with a reception that began at 9:00 PM that was simply the wedding cake and typical reception festivities. The assumption being that guests would have eaten dinner before attending a late wedding.

If a meal is not in the budget, entertain your guests another way.

Best Wishes,
Rev. Ann Fuller
Melbourne, FL
info157979info157979Posts: 26 October 16, 2010
BrevardMinister wrote:
amynjason wrote:
My mom said this was a great way to save money, but I dont think its right to ask our guest to bring food. Anybody agree with my mom? This is my first time for this and Im trying to plan our wedding with a little help from my about to be sister in law and she also thinks this might be a bad idea.


It's definitely a great way to save money, but this is a case of "know your audience." I have been to pot luck weddings that were quite tasteful and fabulously fun. But, they were much smaller and the guest list was essentially family, including extended family.

I'd like to see the rule that says we have to provide wedding guests with a full meal and an open bar. "Back in the day" for me was punch, wedding cake and a few nibbles like cheese and crackers and crudite / fruit platters. There is absolutely no etiquette standard dictating a plated meal and an open bar for wedding guests. I am not a teetotaler (actually posting with a glass of chardonnay in one hand), but find the equation of party=alcohol absurd. Not serving alcohol or only serving beer/wine is one way to save money.

Have you decided on the time of day for your wedding? 9:00 / 9:30 / 10:00 AM and 1:00 / 1:30 / 2:00 / 2:30 PM weddings are great for receptions that don't fall during a mealtime. I have officiated an 8:30 PM wedding with a reception that began at 9:00 PM that was simply the wedding cake and typical reception festivities. The assumption being that guests would have eaten dinner before attending a late wedding.

If a meal is not in the budget, entertain your guests another way.

Best Wishes,
Rev. Ann Fuller
Melbourne, FL


This response makes sense. There are no rules regarding food and drink. As said, know your audience. Keep guests to family and closest friends. I have been to over 800 weddings. The most enjoyable were those that were about friends and family, not show and glitz. I hope you have a wonderful intimate wedding.
Guest October 17, 2010
No - your mom is not right this time. No pot luck for a wedding. No. No. No.
DickensDigitalDickensDigitalPosts: 4 October 17, 2010
To this day, the fact that my groom's family and friends brought their "special" recipes to our reception still brings a smile to my face. I only really knew two people at my wedding (my mom and my husband) and my mother-in-law planned just about everything. Our reception was intimate (75 people) and welcoming. The women who brought dishes felt like they contributed to something special, and you could taste the love in their offerings. I see nothing wrong with "pot luck" at a reception. It's the celebration of your new life that your guests want to see. How wonderful that they can contribute a small part to your special day.
NickjNickjPosts: 9 October 19, 2010
This doesn't sounds good. As you are inviting them for your wedding.!! So please try some other venue. Like short out the invitation list and prefer out the discount offers in every thing. Prepare your own wedding invitations personally. If you want my help that you are free to ask me.
Guest October 19, 2010
I'd like to also add that this type of wedding reception is regarded very differently by different cultures as well as generations. What is horrifying to some is perfectly natural to others.

Unfortunately, the easiest and most effective way to trim a wedding budget is to trim the guest list if you are putting most of your budget into the reception.

I think part of the frustration with many of the brides I encounter is the tension between the wedding of our dreams and the wedding of our wallet. We fantasize about being the princess at the ball and have to face the reality that this just isn't going to happen. Adjusting expectations is often the first step in wedding planning. We may not get the wedding of our dreams, but we can still have a meaningful, precious and beautiful wedding that celebrates our unique relationship.

Best Regards,
Rev. Ann Fuller
Melbourne, FL
enchantedmemoriesweddingsenchantedmemoriesweddingsPosts: 37 October 20, 2010
amynjason wrote:
My mom said this was a great way to save money, but I dont think its right to ask our guest to bring food. Anybody agree with my mom? This is my first time for this and Im trying to plan our wedding with a little help from my about to be sister in law and she also thinks this might be a bad idea.


Where are you getting married and when? The way that I catered my own wedding was to purchase sliced meats from a local deli that did caterin and you could simply buy the pans of sliced meats (we did roast beef and ham) and ahd a few friends of my mother's help out in the kitchen during the reception. We had made pans of green beans and glazed carrots ahead of time, as well as roasted parsley potatoes. All the women had to do was heat everything up during the wedding and put bowls of salad together so that it wasn't wilted when we got there. My aunts bought fruit/veggie/cheese trays the day before at the grocery store and also bought all the alcohol. We did an open bar, and were lucky to find someone that would bartend for tips. We found that we had a lot of alchohol left over, but that lasted me quit a long time.

Having family and friends help out is not bad. I have often thought about how a pot-luck would work for our brides, but we have not done one as yet. Just remember that you can ask that in lieu of a gift, would they be willing to help out with the food...but save this for those that you are closest to that will not take offense.

Feel free to call me to get more ideas. If you are in PA, then we would be more than happy to help you with all the little details.

Yours truly,

Kim Schrack
L & S Events
(717) 571-0557
LandSEvents@live.com
LandSEvents.services.officelive.com
enchantedmemoriesweddingsenchantedmemoriesweddingsPosts: 37 October 20, 2010
lad6363 wrote:
To this day, the fact that my groom's family and friends brought their "special" recipes to our reception still brings a smile to my face. I only really knew two people at my wedding (my mom and my husband) and my mother-in-law planned just about everything. Our reception was intimate (75 people) and welcoming. The women who brought dishes felt like they contributed to something special, and you could taste the love in their offerings. I see nothing wrong with "pot luck" at a reception. It's the celebration of your new life that your guests want to see. How wonderful that they can contribute a small part to your special day.


This probably also made you feel more welcome into their family! As stated above, you need to know your audience and how they will receive your request.

You might also have the person planning your bridal shower suggest that VISA gift cards would be great, because then they would be contributing to your beatiful day. My MOHs were very up front with everyone that they were trying to help us get everything paid for with the wedding, and knoing my family, no one took offense. Again, it is all in how your friends and family will percieve it.
CapicuLove1CapicuLove1Posts: 254 October 21, 2010
Dear Potluck friend:

I think it depends on the type of wedding you are having.

If you are renting a beautiful hall and will have all the trimmings, I think a caterer is in order. You can keep hot dishes to a minimum, like say, having a buffet with hot trays of pasta, a rice dish, two or three carved meats, and a bunch of light appetizers. They can also provide some cold meals and a cheese and fruit tray that saves money. What's good about caterers is that they provide all the fixings, the plates, the utensils and the chafing dishes make the table lovely. You save money by not buying all the accessories associated with food.

Instead of hard liquor you could serve a variety of wine and beer and have a rum spiked punch (you can buy a couple of cheap punch bowls from Liquidators or a home discount center. See link below for a tropical punch recipe.

You can set up a beautiful "candy" station on a separate table with jars of old fashioned candy, along with small scoops and bags which could double as favors. You can also buy small trays with a variety of miniature pastries, cookies, danish, macaroons, petit fors and the like, and rent a large cappachino maker along with fancy paper cups to match your decor (I recommend party city or oriental trading which you can search online). I would also rent a chocolate fountain and you can buy marshmellows, strawberries, pretzels, rice crispy treats from Walmart or BJs or Costco. With this you don't have to spend a fortune for a wedding cake. A smaller one would do (even a lovely sheet cake with a nice bride and groom topper) so everyone could have a sliver along with the other treats.

In other words, save money on other things and use your caterer. You should not ask others unless it's a casual set up, like in your local park, or backyard.
You could save cash on florists by buying your centerpieces from Home Depot (they do potted orchids for about $16 apiece. the average wedding centerpiece is about $75 each).

A nice wedding is a special day and deserves some elegance. A pot luck is usually reserved for very casual friends and family.

Good luck!

Lise'
mybelovedwedandart.com
CapicuLove1CapicuLove1Posts: 254 October 21, 2010
Oh, here's some great links:

orientaltrading.com
partycity.com
http://www.chocolatefountainrental.com/
http://store.apartysource.com/newyears.html

Rum Punch Recipe
1 fifth Bacardi® gold rum
1 fifth Cruzan® coconut rum
1/2 gallon orange juice
1 gallon water



Combine all ingredients in a water jug. Shake vigorously. Serve over ice.


1 fifth Bacardi® gold rum
1 fifth Cruzan® coconut rum
1/2 gallon orange juice
1 gallon water



Combine all ingredients in a water jug. Shake vigorously. Serve over ice.


Wedding Champagne Punch

50 cl Bacardi® white rum
10 cl triple sec
10 cl amaretto almond liqueur
5 cl grenadine syrup
5 cl sugar syrup
1 chunked pineapple
150 cl Champagne
1 litersparkling water



Combine ingredients (except champagne and water) in a punch bowl, cover and chill for 2 hours. Add champagne and water, with a little ice. Add 5-10 frozen strawberries. Serve in wine glasses (30 servings).


Read more: Bacardi Champagne Punch recipe http://www.drinksmixer.com/recipes/5107/#ixzz12ztzfXPQ
Guest November 1, 2010
Thanks everybody for your tips and ideas, please continue to give me ur ideas THANKSsmile

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